Sleep training - what to know?

It’s common for friends or family to suggest letting your baby 'cry it out' so they’ll learn to sleep alone. But crying is your baby’s way of telling you they need something. Babies don’t cry to be spoilt or to manipulate you. They cry because they have a real need.

By responding to your baby’s cries, you’re not spoiling them. You’re helping your baby feel safe and building their trust and self-esteem. Babies need closeness and comfort, especially at night.

Sleep training programs are popular, but many experts have concerns.

• The Australian Association for Infant Mental Health (AAIMH) says that “extinction-based” sleep training (letting babies cry without comfort) doesn’t meet babies’ emotional needs and may have negative effects. They highlight that babies thrive when their distress is met with prompt, reliable care.¹
• The Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine (ABM) also advises against sleep training, especially in the first 12 months. Their research shows that leaving babies to cry alone can cause stress (measured by higher cortisol levels) and is distressing for both babies and parents. Many parents also find that sleep training doesn’t work for their family.²

Many parents find it easier to follow their baby’s sleep patterns and adjust their own routines for a while. Over time, your baby’s sleep will change.

Here are some gentle ways to help your baby sleep:

• Gentle, regular movement, like rocking or walking with your baby in a pouch, sling or pram.
• Use soothing background sounds, such as gentle music or white noise. Keep the noise level low, for example no louder than a humming refrigerator or a quiet conversation nearby.
• Offer comfort with cuddles or gentle touch.
• Experiment with different calming techniques—what works can change as your baby grows.

Remember, every baby is different. What works for one family may not work for another. Trust your instincts and reach out for support if you need it.

With so much information available in books and online, it’s understandable that parents might look to baby sleep programs for support. Many of these programs are promoted by individuals who share their own experiences and advice. 

It’s important to know that not all programs are based on the same evidence or recommendations as those from recognised health authorities. Many are marketed as ‘responsive’ or ‘gentle’ but may actually encourage routines that don’t fit every baby’s needs, or may not fully support breastfeeding according to need or responding to your baby’s cues.

If you’re thinking about trying a sleep program, check the qualifications of the person offering advice. Look for programs that are evidence-based, endorsed by recognised health bodies, and that support feeding and responding to your baby’s needs. Trust your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right for your family, it’s okay to do things differently.

Many parents find that following their baby’s cues and seeking evidence-based information helps them feel more confident. If you have questions or concerns, talk them over with an ABA breastfeeding counsellor.